One Thing

June 25, 2013 by  
Filed under current, Mothering Space

streamimageIt seems lately that Time and I are fighting a lot.

I am acutely feeling pressure of “too much to do and not enough time” in a way I don’t seem to recall ever having faced it before. Even in college and grad school I didn’t feel like this. That was, indeed, a lot to handle. But during that time I had only that one thing to focus on.

Now I have two kids, a husband, a house, a day job, an artistic calling, and every single thing that comes along with those rolls.

And I feel panic. There is simply no way that I can do everything. And yet, all of these things do need to happen.

I also feel not good enough. There’s so much in this culture that says women and mothers need to be able to do it all, and to do it right, and to do it right now. But something is always slipping through the cracks. I find myself constantly in a state of, “Crap, I forgot to ___________.” Or often, “Crap, I forgot to ___________, _____________, and _______________.”

Like this morning, I was supposed to do something for my J. O. B. before we left the house to drop one kid off at math camp, take the other kid to speech therapy, write this article while I wait for him, drop off a client’s photographs, and then pick up the first kid from camp.

But then we had not one, but two, scorpions in the house (well, on in the house and one in the garage, but that’s two too many for me, no matter where they were found) and the thing I had to do before I left the house just didn’t get done.

And holy cow, if I keep going on this way, I’m going to accidentally leave some kid somewhere, or boil my eyeglasses or something.

I need to stop.

So that’s actually what I’m trying to practice. And practice. And practice. There are so many things that I need to do, but all the mental churning over the list can’t change the fact that I am just not able to do everything at once. That’s not how Time works, much as I’m trying to force it to.

I’ve got to surrender to Time’s timing.

And there is a special relief to be found here.

The only way I can even hope to maybe possibly begin to Hack-through-the-to-do-list, Run-the-house, Keep the-children-alive, Stay-married, Run-the-business, Keep-my-job, is by just doing the next thing.

And to give myself permission to only do one thing at a time.

No business calls in the middle of dinner, no checking emails at stop lights. It’s time to just knock it all off, and Just. Do. One. Thing.

Saying a full and committed yes to the thing that is right in front of me right now.

Especially if that thing is a tiny human who needs my undivided attention.

For the gift of time is truly the gift of love.

I might even go so far as to say that Love and Time are two words for the same thing.

One thing. Now. Yes.

ABOUT OUR MOTHERING SPACE CONTRIBUTOR

Miki DeVivoHi, I’m Miki. I am a photographer, family history chronicler, and creator of The Book of Love. I create and tend spaces in which we can be truly seen and deeply loved. I am passionate about collecting and tending stories, capturing moments of everyday tenderness and beauty, and reflecting back to people the very best parts of themselves. Come share my story (and share yours if you like) at mikidevivo.com

Comments

5 Responses to “One Thing”
  1. Lee says:

    Miki, that was beautiful, I loved you saying “tiny young human”, always important in the scheme of things. I admire your passion and drive to get your daily logistics rigth!

  2. Chris Owen says:

    You Nailed it Ms Miki!

  3. Miki DeVivo says:

    Thanks Lee. So glad it resonated with you. Yes, it’s sometimes hard for me to remember that these little people with whom I share my life are real, little, people with their own inner lives.

    Writing this post was a really interesting experience of learning the lesson I needed as I wrote it. I had no real idea what I was going to say, but what came out was what I needed to learn. The love is time realization smacked me on the head and I’m still reeling from it’s implications in my life and work.

  4. Maree says:

    Loved your article Miki, please please do not check emails at red lights. Love is time is an interesting concept.

    • Miki DeVivo says:

      Thanks Maree =). Don’t worry, I never typed or read while the car was moving. And I’ve stopped all phone related shenanigans while in the car =).

      I’m finding the time as love concept to be a really interesting guidepost when making my decisions these days.