What’s Your Relationship Becoming?

January 23, 2012 by  
Filed under current, Relationship Space

Just like the two people in it, a relationship is a organic, dynamic, evolving “thing”.

A Relationship will take on a life of it’s own – given half a chance!

It needs two people to even exist, and it needs attention for it to grow.

So what is your relationship becoming?

How is it growing?

What kind of attention is it getting?

Is it like a misshapen tree that grows towards the sunshine on one side, and grows intermittently and underwhelmingly on the other?

Or is it like some of the other plants in a garden – all show and no substance?

Is it just new and euphorically romantic, or is it complacent, stodgy, and stunted?

Has it moved from Romantic Love to a life of daily choices to love?

Or is it suffering from some parasite that’s eating it’s life away?

Does it have the water of forgiveness flowing through it’s sap?

Or do the toxins of conflict shrivel the new growth, or even worse, hollow out the limbs so they can do nothing but fall and hurt those in the vicinity?

So what is your relationship becoming?

What is it looking like?

Are there signs of growth and development?

Are there early-warning signs of trouble?

Are there signs of stress

As we learned during the recent long drought, even stressed trees can regain vitality.  They just need extra nurture and attention, on top of the obvious nutrients like water and appropriate foods.

So what kind of feed are you giving your relationship?

And how are you going to give it a dose of fertiliser that will help it dig its roots down firmly?

What kind of help are you giving it to resist invasion from pests?


Don’t know about you, but I know our annual review is overdue, and it’s time to stop and look at our relationship and then do some “gardening”.

Image: Steve Jurvetson

About our Relationship Space writer

Either from our own experience or from observation of friends and family, we all know how extraordinarily painful marriage breakdown can be.

Chris Owen of Pink Apple is a Melbourne-based Relationship Coach.

Chris helps couples who lie awake after a fight worrying that their second marriage might fall apart like their first did. With new knowledge about themselves, and structured training in effective communications, they can be confident that they won’t be repeating old destructive relationship patterns.

You can subscribe to Chris’s many shared resources on Facebook here.



2 Responses to “What’s Your Relationship Becoming?”
  1. Anne Maybus says:

    ..a relationship is a organic, dynamic, evolving “thing”

    So true but how often so we forget it? Must be time for some gradening here, too.