A holiday touch of kindness

November 21, 2011 by  
Filed under Challenge Space, current, Serenity Space

I’ve been thinking about what you and I need as we plunge into the holiday season.


We’re just keeping our head above water coping with life, with work, relationships, family, friends, and those endless chores. So when the holidays appear on the horizon it can feel like we’ve lifted this additional load upon our shoulders and the weight is pressing down upon us, threatening to pushing us under.

We find it hard to breathe for the busyness, the demands, the exhaustion.

Not to mention the expectations.

What I find the biggest drain on my inner resourcefulness as I hurtle towards the end of the year is my own expectations. My dreams of sugar plum fairies and beautifully crafted Christmas moments.

Somewhere in my past, I constructed this elaborate dream of what the holidays should be like. And I kill myself trying to make that dream a reality.

Well, that used to be my story. But after one too many injuries (sprained ankle, anyone?) and complete and utter wipe-outs (and we’re not even going to mention the mad cleaning woman driving her family crazy), I’ve rewritten the script. I (finally) learned from all those painful lessons over the years.

And the biggest thing I know is that right now you need a

touch of kindness. A touch of gentle care, and a release of

those expectations and ‘shoulds’.

And yet, with the holidays looming large on the horizon, parties, celebrations, decorations, baking and endless gift lists clogging your brain, kindness is the last thing on your mind. Well, kindness for yourself is the last thing on your mind. You’ve got everyone else in your sights right now.

Even if you’re coping pretty well, you know from experience that there will be moments. That no matter how hard you try, there is often some little thing that triggers that {anxious} {panicky} {sad} {fill in your own emotion} response and you feel like you just cannot cope any more.

And if you try to compromise, try to pull back on commitments, gifts, entertaining, {or anything you’ve loaded yourself up with}, you end up feeling guilty, and being even less kind to yourself as a result.

Yep. Been there, done that. It didn’t work for me.

What you need, more than anything else {even more than a glass of wine or a plane ticket to Tahiti} is to be kind to yourself.

If you’re aching for that touch of kindness, and would love to learn really effective, lasting tips for giving it to yourself without neglecting everyone else, it’s time for your very own Self-Kindness challenge, my love.

I’ve put a Special Holiday Edition of the Self-Kindness challenge together with you in mind.

Join in for five simple, small practices that pack a huge punch and we’ll have you waltzing through the holiday season without falling in a heap, and without having a nervous breakdown just as the new year dawns. It’s not about adding things to your to-do list, it’s about small incremental changes to the way you see or do things.

Start 2012 fully fueled, knowing how to be kind to yourself as well as to those you love and care for.

You’ve nothing to lose but the frazzlement and that big stick you’ve been beating yourself over the head with for years.

I’m opening the Self-Kindness challenge – Special Holiday Edition up for registrations this week (jump on our mailing list to be one of the first to know – if you’re not already!)

Ed: It’s open! Early bird ends Friday midnight (in your part of the world!). For full details click here.

About our Serenity Space Writer

Káren Wallace is passionate about leading women to rediscover the fire in their belly for their work and their life when they are exhausted and the sparks are no longer flying. She is known for her ability to break the complex down into easily digestible morsels, easily savoured but with long-lasting and often life-changing results.

When she’s not coaching, writing, or editing The Calm Space, you may find Káren dreaming of her first Christmas in her new dream home surrounded by family and friends.

You can find more about Káren and her coaching programs at KarenWallace.com, and do come say g’day on Twitter :-)


2 Responses to “A holiday touch of kindness”
  1. Lin says:

    Hey Karen – I don’t know what is different this year but it is. I somehow haven’t bought into the hype. Here it is late on 21 Dec and I am not organised and it is ok.

    Anyway just thought I would let you know what went through my head when I read ” It’s not about adding things to your to-do list”. I thought wouldn’t it be the best kindness to yourself – the best present to yourself – to cross off five things from your list and not do them – ever.

    I have a son who keeps me sane. If I leave a list lying around he actually crosses things off and substitues ‘Play games’ ‘go for a walk’ ‘eat chocolate’. He’s right.

    And I know you wont have got your present yet but it is in the post now :)

    Love Lin

  2. Lin says:

    PS Wish I had done the challenge. I’m curious now.