Five Tips for Better Relationship Happiness

July 22, 2010 by  
Filed under Relationship Space

56.365 by kthompsonstudiosSeeing we’re focusing on happiness this month, there is no question that one of the greatest opportunities for Happiness lies in the simplest and nearest person/thing in your life!

Your partner and relationship are the source of your second greatest opportunity!

Second?

Well of course! Your first opportunity lies within your Self. But that same authentic whole and real Self is also what will maximise the potential of your Second Opportunity for happiness!

So my Simple Tips for Happiness in Relationships?

  • Show up as the most self-aware and real You that you can dig around and find.
    Think about it?  Isn’t “sincere” and “real” the best kind of person you can meet and deal with?
    When someone is heart-breakingly honest about their skills and talents, and their fears and failings, doesn’t that vulnerability attract your admiration?
    Knowing Yourself  and presenting the Authentic You is the most scary and attractive characteristic you can ever offer to anyone, but especially a Loving Partner!
  • Be prepared to Love Your Partner with all his/her failings rather than despite them.
    If you thought that you were going to get perfection when you began a committed relationship you must have been forgetting your own imperfections!
    So you have two choices, when faced with flaws. Pretend they’re not there and remain endlessly disappointed. Or offer acceptance of that person just as they are and allow them a chance to grow in front of your eyes. I know which one I think is more exciting to be part of!
  • Listen with two ears and talk with one mouth!
    All of us Relationship Specialists bang on endlessly about communication and that’s because without it there can be no relationship. No communication = sham and hollow relationship!
    And the simplest way to do that effectively is to work on the 2:1 principle (2 ears and 1 mouth)! Bearing in mind that your talking will include questions starting with opening gambits like who /what /when /where /why /how, your aim is to get a sense of what it’s like to walk in your partner’s shoes. You won’t always get there but being seen to try to achieve that also wins you their love and appreciation. Go on I dare you!
  • Use Love Languages to Deliver a Laser Message of Love.
    Knowing your partner’s Love Language is critical. All relationships lurch and swing through the pendulum of highs and lows. At both ends of that spectrum, it is hard to receive messages of love through the flurry of your own emotions. So if that message of love is offered in a “foreign language” then it’s potency is diluted or lost all together! So it is imperative to talk in your partner’s love language to send that message of love – most particularly in moments of crisis and stress. Don’t know about your family, but those moments of crisis and stress can crop up pretty regularly in our world!
  • When the inevitable conflicts occur, fight fair.
    Disagreement /fighting /conflict are all perfectly normal events in any relationship. The key to the endurance of any long-term relationship is your ability to heal the relationship after the conflict. If you’ve thrown poison, your chances of healing the relationship after the fight has quietened is seriously diminished.

They sound simple of course!

But all tips are. But like I keep saying, “Done is Better Than Perfect!!

Don’t expect you can be perfect at working at your relationship, but this is one of those situations when persistent trying is the best you can do. (Of course bearing in mind those five tips, “trying” includes asking for feedback, advice, help and forgiveness.)

So Which one could do with some improvement in your relationship?

What are you going to do about it?

How will you do it?  And When?

My intention for this month is to work harder at reflecting on and acknowledging both my positive and negative attributes so I can show up as an excruciatingly honest lover and wife.

What about you?

Photo Source: 56.365 by K Thompson Studios

Comments

2 Responses to “Five Tips for Better Relationship Happiness”
  1. Chris, these are all great tips. But the one that calls for further investigation from me is Love Languages. Where can I find out more?

  2. Angela
    I’m currently working on an “evil plan” to run some courses about Love Languages. But also for those in Victoria I will be presenting about this very topic at a Weekend Romantic Retreat In October. I’ll be talking about it on my blog and in my newsletter. Feel free to subscribe to either or both for more details!
    Thanks for asking.. I’ll speed up those plans!
    Regards
    Chris