Take No Action

Life is so busy, isn’t it? Incessant demands on our time have us running all the time, getting things done.

Never stopping to notice the sunset.

Never stopping to breathe.

And the thought of taking an hour off – let alone a day – is so alien. It has us flooded with feelings of guilt or unworthyness.

We think ‘who am I to take time off, when Sue, Joe and Jane never do?‘

Who indeed?

We think ‘what will they think of me, if they find out I’m weak and just can’t cope?‘

Hmmm…

Or even ‘How unrealistic! I can’t take a day off – who will do everything, including (fill in the essential activity)?‘

Is it weakness to know your limits? To Stop, before you fall down?

Or is it strength?

Is it guilt-worthy to recharge your batteries so you can be there, better, for everyone else?

I don’t believe so. And neither should you.

So, sometimes, you have to stop. And in the stopping, you need to put aside the guilt, the what-will-they-think, the things-will-fall-apart-without-me, the worry.

Stay in bed. Let the world revolve without you for a day.

I promise, you’ll surface all the better for it… and the world will not have ended!

(And before you start sending me email to tell me (again) how shallow or unrealistic this is – stop! What is it in you that’s prompting that reaction? If you cannot possibly take the day off, think what will happen when you fall in a heap as illness claims you, or worse still – you injure yourself. That old adage about an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure still holds true, I think. One day off stopped, versus stopped. period. I’ve done both. Prevention works.)

Get Up and Do Something

So, in the opposite scenario, you’re filled with those gloomy thoughts – the ones that overwhelm you and keep you stuck. You know the ones. They can be dark around the edges, or even pitch black in places. They tie you down and stop you from Getting Things Done.

Your desk is probably a mess. The kitchen too. The dirty-clothes hamper is probably overflowing. And don’t even mention your ragged nails, hairy legs (ahem, if you’re a girl:) or flaky skin. You’ve probably got a sniffle, an aching back or a persistent cough.

You’re stuck – well and truly.

Mired in mud.

Urk.

In this case, of course, giving yourself a day in bed would not help. It would make you feel worse.

The remedy? There is only one.

Do Something…

Something small. Something seemingly insignificant.

Clear just one spot in your home or office. Make it clean and beautiful.

Make it so when you catch sight of it, it makes you smile and stand a little taller.

Take a moment to enjoy and relish your accomplishment. For yes, it’s an accomplishment.

Imagine what you could do now.

Then, do another something…

Make your bed. Trim your nails. Stack the dishwasher. Wipe down the sink. Pick up all the dirty clothes and towels from around the house and put them in the laundry. Put a load in the washing machine. Pick up all the piles on your desk and put them somewhere else, then wipe down your desk. Clean out the fish tank and top up the water. Pooper-scoop the back lawn. Pay your bills online. Get your hair cut. Or coloured. Or both.

How Do You Want to Feel?

You want to feel nurtured, comforted, relaxed and peaceful. You want to replenish your batteries.

Or you want to feel energised, inspired, full of energy, focussed and full of life.

Two quick questions…

Are you so overwhelmed with busyness, you sometimes entertain thoughts about getting sick or breaking a leg, just so you have an excuse to rest?

Or are you paralysed with inaction? Frustrated and don’t know your next move? Don’t know where to start? Can’t get inspired?

You know why you’re reading this today…

We’ve asked Are You Happy? and had a tremendous response, both in comments and in emails.

And now, as a last hoorah… I’d like to ask you something.

What if…

What if… happiness is about letting go?

What if… we gave up the need to be happy?

What if… we stopped wanting to be happier?

What if… we just let go?

What if… we concentrate instead on living, right here, right now?

What if… we simply gave thanks for being alive, here and now?

I don’t have answers for you. But something is prompting me to question, and living the questions can sometimes be the only thing to do…

It is my hope that happiness will alight, like a butterfly, silently and ever so softly upon your heart. And you’ll breathe deeply and know that you’re ok.

Káren xx

so, here I am

When I hear the word wonder… it’s the magical, inspirational and uplifting meaning that first pops into my head.

The wonder that is the universe. The wonder of the blanket of stars on a clear night.

The wonder of a baby’s tiny fist, wrapped around your little finger. The wonder of your child’s first steps.

The wonder of your daughter, grown taller than you, looking so amazingly beautiful for her high school formal.

The wonder of your dogs love, unconditional and unrelenting.

The wonder of the outpouring of love, laughter and hugs at your Mother’s funeral. A celebration of an amazing woman’s life.

The wonder of how things happen, and the wonder of how there is always a hidden silver lining in every thunder cloud.

The wonder of gratitude, the wonder of friendship, the immense wonder that is love.

The wonder of absurdity, silliness and sheer good fun.

The wonder of your son’s sense of humour… able to draw laughter from the most tense of situations.

The wonder of building a new home from scratch.

The wonder of the trials and tribulations that accompany anything truly important – to help us realise how very special it is.

What wonders surround you at the moment?

What are you truly grateful for, right now?

Please, share in the comments…

There are so many programs designed and books written to help you uncover this huge secret that is your purpose. As though it’s been hidden all these years, waiting for you to dig deep enough, search long enough, hurt intensely enough…

And, as I wrote about earlier this month, that sort of thing really does scare the pants off me.

I’m scared about the message that message is giving us: If you don’t know your Purpose with a capital P, then you’re somehow deficient. Dumb. Less than all those who have seen their light. Backward. Behind. Not good enough.

And I’m here to tell you that’s not the case at all.

You’re ‘enough’ right now. In fact, you’re more than enough. You’re precious and special. Always have been. Always will be.

I was listening to an interview of Lissa Boles recently (brilliant lady!), and she said:

You’re never actually not living your purpose.

Read that again.

Make it personal and yours.

I’m never actually not living my purpose. I am living my purpose.

Because, from the very minute you take your first breath, you’re here, doing what you were meant to. It’s all lessons, learning and growth.

Of course, if you still feel the need to have a higher calling, a true purpose to live for, Abraham-Hicks has the answer:

If we were talking to you on your first day of physical experience, we could be of great advantage to you because we would say,“Welcome to planet Earth. There is nothing you cannot be or do or have. And your work here – your lifetime career – is to seek joy.

~Esther and Jerry Hicks from Money, and the Law of Attraction

Seek Joy

It’s all about joy.

And notice, they don’t call it your purpose (capital P or otherwise). They call it your Lifetime Career. Ahhh, yes. Less daunting, less scary.

Your lifetime career is to seek joy.

Suddenly, then, this quote also puts it into perspective:

You will recognise your own path when you come upon it, because you will suddenly have all the energy and imagination you will ever need.

~Jerry Gillies

Oh yes. Energy and imagination. All that you will ever need.

When I discovered my strength in helping women get out of chaos and back on purpose, when I learned I was a writer, and when I founded The Calm Space, my energy reserves overflowed. Ideas swamped me. I’d recognised my path.

You know that feeling, when you could keep going, and going, and going – you’re loving it and you’re good at it, and you’re firing on all cylinders… Oh! What a feeling!

Hey.

That feeling?

It’s JOY.

Ah ha!

Photo Source: Yellow on Purple by Pixel Addict

I prepared myself, muted the phone, poured a glass of water, and put a load of washing in the machine. (Hmm, I think that last one may be avoidance…)

I fronted up to the computer. Ready to write.

Hear that, Muse? I’m ready to write. Are you ready?

Nothing.

I sat looking at the screen for way too long. That scary white and very blank screen.

I needed inspiration.

I went looking in all my usual places. I searched for quotes. I sifted through beautiful photos. I had a sudden urge for the power, majesty and beauty of Beethoven’s Emperor Concerto.

Nothing.

I went outside and played with my dogs. I came back inside and knitted a couple of rows of the vest I’m working on with the most glorious multi-coloured yarn in the world.

I boiled the kettle and made myself a cup of tea, then sat sipping it as I contemplated my bookshelf, seeking that elusive spark that would ignite into a brilliant idea.

Some niggles, a few good ideas for my upcoming program (more about that real soon!), but no lightning bolts. Not even the illumination of a simple light bulb.

I walked away from it for a couple of days. After all, getting blood out of a stone has never been one of my strengths.

I’d love to say that while I was standing at the kitchen sink, or even when I was in the shower, my muse struck. But alas, no.

This is more a tale of woe than a tale of miracles.

My muse was stone silent.

She’d deserted me. No ideas popped. No inspiration floored me with the need to write immediately. Nothing.

Today, I took myself off to the hairdressers for my regular cut and hide-the-silver (shhh). While I was sitting in the chair, surrounded by the hustle and bustle of a very busy salon, I grabbed my notebook and pointed my pen at an empty page. The mind was still blank. Inspiration had not struck me like a bolt from heaven. And yet I wrote. Hesitantly, even badly, at first. One word. Two. A sentence. Then a paragraph. Most of this early stuff will be edited from the final product, but it served its purpose.

It got me writing.

I wrote. And wrote. And wrote. The words started to pour forth upon the page like water from a tap. Not dripping, but gushing, tumbling over each other in their rush to be recorded.

The Secret?

What I discovered is that you can seek inspiration as much as you like. You can play the music (the din of hairdryers and people and noise is definitely NOT the same as Beethoven). You can do the research. You can find myriad photos.

But in the end the one thing you have to do is start.

All the research, all the inspiration, all the ideas in the world won’t get the thing done.

The secret to Inspiration?

Action.

And then I found this:

We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.

~Frank Tibolt

Oh yes. There it is.

Action always generates Inspiration!!!

And not the other way around (although, somehow, we always hope that it will).

I’m putting this to the test over Easter as I clear out cupboards and declutter in preparation to sell our home soon. I’m not inspired, a bit daunted to tell you the truth.

So I’ll just start. And see how far I get. I’ve set the date. I’ve set the time. I’ll not wait any longer for inspiration to strike (been there, done that, still got clutter). Getting started will be the fuel I need to continue.

What about you? Is there something you’ve been putting off, waiting to get inspired to start?

Forget inspiration. Make a start. Take action. Watch the inspiration arrive…

And please, do let me know how it goes, won’t you?

I’ve battled flood, drought, heat and cold… cold so bitter it almost froze the marrow in my bones. I’ve been happy, I’ve been sad, I’ve been broken-hearted and I’ve danced with joy.

And all along, the good has always, always, outweighed the bad.

I have loved, and been loved – and that has made all the difference.

This journey I’ve been on? The one to find myself. And in the finding, to be happy.

I’m closer, so much closer today … to knowing the joy of being happy along the way.

Today, I wanted to share with you a little of what I have found on this journey. Each discovery has been like finding an oasis in the desert, or a comfy fire at an Inn on a cold, winter’s night. Some found long ago, old favourites, and some found what seems like only yesterday. And what a profound difference they have made in my life.

Come, join me…

Photo Credit: The Dream Seeker on Flickr

But the words would not come. I was well and truly stumped, blocked and out of words.

I asked for divine guidance. I made a fresh cup of earl grey tea. I walked away from the keyboard and sat on my big, comforting leather couch with Il Divo playing softly in the background.

I realised, tea finished, that I had a headache and it had been there all morning, unacknowledged. It was time to tune in to my body. Time to get out of my head, again.

I was looking for the answers, for the words, in all the wrong places.

After a refreshing nap and another cup of tea, my head is clear and the words are flowing. I’ve listened to what my body needed me to hear. I cherished myself.

And that, of course, is the message.

To love means to listen. Listening is a very important practice. There is a voice calling to us, and it wants us to listen. It may be that our body is calling us and wants us to listen to our body. It may be our feelings that are calling us and want us to listen to them. It may be our perceptions are calling us and want us to listen. It is very important for us to pay attention to the voice. The capacity of listening to ourselves is the foundation of the capacity of listening to others. The capacity to love others depends on the capacity of loving ourselves.

~Thich Nhat Hanh

In this busy life we all lead our days are filled with tasks and schedules, appointments and meetings, to-do items and chores. And we’ve become immune to the voices begging us to listen.

We can lose our self in our battle to pay the bills, put food on the table and ensure everyone has clean clothes for tomorrow. We’re so busy doing we forget to be.

When was the last time you took a moment to stop and sit and listen to the voice calling to you?

It can be very scary, listening to your body, your feelings, your perceptions.

You may hear frightening things about your life, your relationships, your health or your work. Things you’d really rather not face. And of course, if you listen and actually hear, you’ll know. You’ll have to act.

But the thing is, if you don’t take time to listen now, those voices will get louder. And louder. And start becoming very insistent. In very disruptive ways. Like illness, injury, catastrophe. The universe has its ways…

So today, I’m encouraging you as well as reminding myself.

Listen.

• Get up from your desk and take your cup of tea outside for the time it takes to drink. Be quiet and still. Listen.
• Turn off the radio when you’re in the car alone and drive in silence. Listen.
• Find some time for solitude. Don’t fill it with a book or newspaper or surfing. Be present with yourself. Listen.
• Run a bath, lock the door and soak. Tune in to your body. Listen.
• Take up yoga or tai chi or some other mindful physical practice. Listen.
• Take your pen and notebook somewhere quiet and write “Dear Voice, what is it I need to hear?” The voice will answer back. Listen.

And remember, “the capacity to love others depends on the capacity of loving ourselves.” We can only love ourselves when we know ourselves. We can only love ourselves when we’re being fully honest and open and listening.

Loving yourself is the supreme act of generosity.

Are you up to it?

Photo Credit: Lacey by aussiegall

How luscious – a new year stretching out before us, a clean slate, a brand new note book waiting for us to make our mark upon it!

We have the option, of course, to make a clean start any time we chose. But when the universe lends a hand and gives us the gift of a brand new, shiny, still-in-it’s-wrapping, year – juicy, ripe, plump and just for us, well – it’s the perfect opportunity to make that clean start.

Like that brand new, blank journal, waiting for us to add colour and meaning, the new year is stretched out there ahead of us, waiting for us to add colour and meaning and beauty and life.

The possibilities are endless…

What will you put into the book of your year?

I’ve always had trouble making the first mark on a beautiful, blank book. My oldest and dearest friend sent me a book last January for my birthday. It’s beautiful. Hard-bound, perfect size, with dark blue binding and a collage of words painted with metallic gold on the cover. Inside the covers is the most exquisite marbled endpaper, the paper inside just the right thickness and a beautiful creamy white. She made it herself!

It is so beautiful it has sat in pride of place on top of my bookshelf all year. And I haven’t written a thing in it. The perfectionist in me wouldn’t let me ’spoil’ this book with something that wasn’t worthy. And I couldn’t decide what was worthy enough.

Sometimes we have that trouble with our life, too. We don’t want to eliminate possibilities by choosing something. So we leave it blank… waiting for the day that inspiration strikes and we know what we are meant to do.

We come to a fork in the road, and instead of choosing a path and stepping out boldly, we hold back, scared of making the wrong decision.

Sometimes there are so many possibilities. So many avenues to chose. So many paths we could take. So, so much!

And we sit and enjoy the spectacle of all that possibility.

Instead of deciding and enjoying the doing of it.

So today I’d like you to join me for a little decision making. It’s time to choose what we put on the pages of our year.

Intention: Without intention, the winds of change and strife can toss us around and blow us completely off course. What do you intend to do with this year?

Decision: Decisions must be made. Decide, now, to be decisive when it counts. Not deciding is making a decision, you know. Don’t put off life indefinitely. Make a conscious choice today to begin.

Beauty: Beauty makes our hearts sing, and lifts us to a higher place. Fill your life with beauty and elegance and you’ll feel radiant!

Colour: I’m getting out my watercolour pencils and adding colour and life to my book. There is something so wonderful about just the right shade of cerise or magenta or cerulean…

Heart: When in doubt, check in with your heart. For always, deep down, you know what’s right, what’s truth. Your heart knows. Listen.

Energy: Good food and movement give us the energy to get stuck into our year with enthusiasm.

Passion: Passion for life makes everything brighter. Know your passion. Live it.

Order: Don’t take junk with you into your wonderful year. Deal with the ’stuff’, get help if you need it. Create order and feel an incredible lightness of spirit!

Belief: Believe in yourself. Anything is possible if you simply believe. It isn’t enough that others believe in you – you must know it.

Presence: Stay anchored in the present moment. Don’t live in yesterday’s and tomorrow’s. Your power is right here, right now.

Nature: Ground yourself in the natural world. Open up to feel of the breeze, the touch of the sun, the smell of damp earth, the thunder of the surf, the beauty of the mountains, the wonder of a spider-web… and know you’re alive!

Action: Take action. It does not need to be perfect. It does not need to be clever. Start living, start filling in pages… Action builds momentum and momentum will carry you forward to your dreams.

Space: Leave some pages deliberately blank. We need space and solitude in order to breathe. And those empty spaces invite even further possibilities…

Love: And above all, love. Our family, our friends, our special love, these are what makes the rest worthwhile.

To see a World in a Grain of Sand

And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,

Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand

And Eternity in an hour.

~William Blake from Auguries of Innocence

What are you planning on filling the book of your year with?

Ritual is the way you carry out the presence of the sacred. Ritual is the spark that must not go out.

~Christina Baldwin

Make magic out of the mundane! Introduce the sacred to your day, every day.

Lift your life to a higher level by turning the ordinary, everyday acts you normally do by rote into something special, something out of the ordinary.

We’d all like a little more magic in our life. And we imagine that we need some outside force, some ’someday’ thing, to suddenly spirit us away from the chores and transform our lives. But in the back of our minds we know that the handsome prince, or the lotto win, or the slim figure is never actually going to magically happen. And even if it did, there would still be moments of mundaneness…

Is it any wonder so many of us succumb to depression and anxiety? There is no magic in our lives, and we can see no hope of there ever being any!

Stop right there.

There is magic. There is hope. There is a sublime sense of the beautiful. And I’m here to hand you the key to the door that will open up to a whole new world.

Ready?

To feel the magic, to feel the sense of wonder and hope and joy that lights up your heart and puts a spring in your step, we need to add a little ritual and a little ceremony to those things you do every single day. It won’t take but a moment or two more, but the benefits will be immeasurable!

1. When you shower, pay attention

Feel the water on your skin, in your hair. Make the shower a sensory experience by using products to cleanse yourself that smell beautiful and uplifting. Try pure, organic aromatherapy products if at all possible. Chose oils that uplift, relax, rejuvenate or invigorate.

When your mind starts to drift off towards that insidious to-do list, gently bring it back to the feel of water, the feel of the loofah, the scents and steam. Have a soft, fluffy towel to swaddle yourself in when you’re done.

Make bathing a ritual and start your day on a high note.

2. Look your best, every day

There is no excuse to run out the door in old sweats – unless you’re literally going for a run.

Even though I work at home, and have to walk a dozen paces or so from my bed to my desk, I always feel better, write better, respond better and handle issues better when I’m feeling good about myself.

To feel good about myself, I get dressed in nice clothes (I no longer own baggy sweats or misshapen t-shirts), moisturise my skin, put on a little lip balm and a swipe of mascara, and a spritzing of my favourite perfume, every single day no matter what. When you feel good about the way you look, you cope better and feel stronger and more able to cope with whatever the day brings. Make it a ritual.

This is my “depressed stance.” When you’re depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you’ll start to feel better. If you’re going to get any joy out of being depressed, you’ve got to stand like this.

~Charlie Brown

3. Do the chores with love

Chores. You know they have to get done. And more often than not, you’re the one doing them. (No matter how much we dream the kids will suddenly develop an affinity with the vacuum or the washing machine… sigh).

You can do them grudgingly, and you’ll feel terrible (and so will everyone else in the house). Or you can do them with love.

Make a ceremony out of it.

I may be odd, but I’ve always loved hanging washing on the line. Sorting, pegging, checking. I enjoy being outside and feeling the sun and the breeze. My line is surrounded by big trees, and there are often a multitude of birds waiting for me. The flash of red from a king parrot. The harsh swark from a rainbow lorikeet. The gorgeous greeting song from a butcher bird. The call of a pheasant to his mate, somewhere down the back.

I let my time at the line renew me, and when I come back inside, I’m invigorated and ready for what I need to do next. Whether you’re washing floors or making beds, add a dash of ceremony, a touch of ritual, a splash of music and get it done with zing.

4. Cook with a smile on your face.

When I bake, I like to start with a clean kitchen and a lit candle. There is something about baking with love that infuses the food with an indefinable but tangible quality. When you prepare any food, for yourself, for your family, or for a houseful of guests, take a leaf from Nigella Lawson’s book and relish the absolute lusciousness of the tastes, textures and colours.

In his book Waiting for Autumn, Scott Blum’s character goes into a restaurant and orders a sandwich during a spiritual adventure where he can sense the energy of others. There was “a huge dark cloud coming from the back kitchen that slowly began to fill the entire restaurant. … When my food finally arrived, I was surprised to discover that there was also energy emanating from the sandwich on the plate. It was nearly identical to the dark cloud I felt coming from the back kitchen, and I became quote agitated when I picked the sandwich up. … when I bit into it, I almost choked. I felt as if I’d consumed someone else’s anger with that first bite, and it was toxic to me.“

Don’t be like the chef in this story. Don’t cook when you’re mad or frustrated. Do what you need to do to make cooking pleasurable. Infuse food with love as you prepare it. Food cooked with love satisfies hunger like no other food can.

5. Make a ceremony of the water you drink.

Masaru Emoto’s groundbreaking work into water crystals shows that water picks up on the vibrations around it. Take up your water glass and, holding it in both hands, breathe deeply and radiate love, happiness or joy into the water through your hands. This need only take a second or two.

As you sip the water, be mindful that you’re filling yourself with that feeling. The water in your stomach is radiating love, happiness, joy or whatever emotion you’re most in need of, throughout your body. Nourishing you, feeding you, uplifting you.

There are many more ways you can bring rituals into every day. Once you start to look for ways to add ceremony and the hint of special to chores and routines, you’ll find new and exciting ways to add that touch of magic, every single day of the year.

You’re so worth it!

It is only when we silence the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts.

~K. T. Jong

If your life is anything like mine, you’re stuck in the busyness that comes with a full life. Your diary is chock a block with commitments, kids activities, and earning a living. You do take a moment to breathe most days – you sometimes even take time out to do something just for you. It may be the weekly yoga class, the daily walk with the dogs, the regular pedicure, or a monthly coffee with your girlfriends.

But come this time of year, with all those additional things – like end of school year and Christmas – on to your to-do list and that rather large list of expectations, things get really frantic. There are only so many hours in a day – and it isn’t enough!

You sometimes long for it to be over and done with. And then feel guilty because you know that’s wishing your life away. You know that here and now are all you have, but boy, you wish here and now wasn’t quite so intense.

You feel like you’re flying headlong into the holidays… and the brakes have failed.

Plan for Renewal

As we rush towards the holidays, we lurch from commitment to commitment, task to task and don’t have the time to stand back and look at the bigger picture. We can lose perspective unless someone else pulls us up with a gentle (or not so gentle) reminder.

So I hope this will be your gentle, personal, reminder of the power of planning for renewal.

I found these definitions in my dictionary - Planning: ‘an intention or decision about what one is going to do’; and Renewal: ‘give fresh life or strength to’. Let’s put them together:

Planning for Renewal:

making an intention or decision about giving fresh life or strength to You

Fresh life? New strength? A burst of sustainable energy?

Sounds good right about now!

You may have to steal some time to get a start on this, but let me tell you – it will pay you back big time in energy, zing and enthusiasm.

Fresh Life and Strength

• Get quiet. Notice I didn’t say find quiet. Sometimes it’s impossible to find, or you’ll spend all your energy looking for it, and won’t enjoy it. So, no, Get quiet. If you’re outdoors and can sit and do nothing for 10 minutes, terrific! If not, sometimes you can even form a little bubble of quiet around you in a busy coffee shop. By quiet, I mean no conversation (except saying thank you when they bring your drink); no reading; no studying your shopping list; no sending messages from your phone. Just sit. Imagine that bubble around you, feel yourself quieten, inside as well as out. Sip your drink. Stare into space. Take a giant step back from your busyness for 10 minutes.
• Change your perspective. You’re so involved right now in every little thing that needs to get done that you’re definitely not seeing the big picture. Take a step or two backwards. Imagine yourself floating above the ground – high enough that you can see the whole forest, and not just that branch you were madly shaking. Start to question what you’re doing. Is it really so important that you make all the cards this year by hand? Is it vital that you go to that work Christmas party when you know you’ll hate it? Take a look at what you’re adding to your lists and ask why. Look at your obligations from a different perspective as you float by up there.
• Tune in to your body. Notice your stress levels. If they are higher than normal it’s time to take action. Notice where the stress is located in your body. Is your forehead all bunched up? Is your head aching? Is there a churning in the pit of your stomach? Or do you find you’re clenching your teeth tight, trying to hold it all in? Ask what is it you need to do right now to help your body cope better.
• Soothe yourself. Send yourself soothing thoughts. Treat yourself like a young child who has woken from a nightmare. Speak softly, calmly and with love. Stroke your forehead, rub your temples gently, massage your jaw. Relax yourself. Tell yourself it is okay.
• Tell a better story. When we get to this stage of the year, we’re often telling ourselves a story about how we just have to ‘get through’ this busy time so we can relax. I’m hanging out for January – but that’s a way off just yet and I don’t want to get there a total blubbering mess. So I’m changing my story about the next six weeks. I’m rewiring my thought patterns to enjoying the moment. I’m telling myself that everything that must get done, will get done; and that stuff that doesn’t get done doesn’t matter. As the definition of planning said “an intention or decision about what one is going to do“. Set your intention, make a decision – this moment is the first moment I am calm and clear.
• Get it out of your head. If you find yourself waking in the middle of the night in a cold sweat afraid you’ve forgotten something really important (like batteries for Christmas Day;) it’s time you started brain dumping. I’ve always advocated having a notebook that never leaves your side at this time of year. In it goes all to-do’s, shopping lists, gift ideas, menus, and lists of what you’ve bought for whom. There are three reasons to keep it with you – firstly, you’ll be able to jot down ideas as they arise (and hopefully get straight back to sleep); secondly, you’ll avoid all those little bits of paper floating around and getting lost; and lastly, if you’ve young kids – you don’t want them discovering that list of what they are getting from Santa!  When those infernal lists are out of your head and down on paper you’ll feel a whole lot calmer about everything.

Here’s to not just ‘getting through’ the next few weeks. I wish you peace and clarity and enjoyment of the moments in between now and then.

What’s your intention this holiday season?