I’ve battled flood, drought, heat and cold… cold so bitter it almost froze the marrow in my bones. I’ve been happy, I’ve been sad, I’ve been broken-hearted and I’ve danced with joy.

And all along, the good has always, always, outweighed the bad.

I have loved, and been loved – and that has made all the difference.

This journey I’ve been on? The one to find myself. And in the finding, to be happy.

I’m closer, so much closer today … to knowing the joy of being happy along the way.

Today, I wanted to share with you a little of what I have found on this journey. Each discovery has been like finding an oasis in the desert, or a comfy fire at an Inn on a cold, winter’s night. Some found long ago, old favourites, and some found what seems like only yesterday. And what a profound difference they have made in my life.

Come, join me…

Photo Credit: The Dream Seeker on Flickr

But the words would not come. I was well and truly stumped, blocked and out of words.

I asked for divine guidance. I made a fresh cup of earl grey tea. I walked away from the keyboard and sat on my big, comforting leather couch with Il Divo playing softly in the background.

I realised, tea finished, that I had a headache and it had been there all morning, unacknowledged. It was time to tune in to my body. Time to get out of my head, again.

I was looking for the answers, for the words, in all the wrong places.

After a refreshing nap and another cup of tea, my head is clear and the words are flowing. I’ve listened to what my body needed me to hear. I cherished myself.

And that, of course, is the message.

To love means to listen. Listening is a very important practice. There is a voice calling to us, and it wants us to listen. It may be that our body is calling us and wants us to listen to our body. It may be our feelings that are calling us and want us to listen to them. It may be our perceptions are calling us and want us to listen. It is very important for us to pay attention to the voice. The capacity of listening to ourselves is the foundation of the capacity of listening to others. The capacity to love others depends on the capacity of loving ourselves.

~Thich Nhat Hanh

In this busy life we all lead our days are filled with tasks and schedules, appointments and meetings, to-do items and chores. And we’ve become immune to the voices begging us to listen.

We can lose our self in our battle to pay the bills, put food on the table and ensure everyone has clean clothes for tomorrow. We’re so busy doing we forget to be.

When was the last time you took a moment to stop and sit and listen to the voice calling to you?

It can be very scary, listening to your body, your feelings, your perceptions.

You may hear frightening things about your life, your relationships, your health or your work. Things you’d really rather not face. And of course, if you listen and actually hear, you’ll know. You’ll have to act.

But the thing is, if you don’t take time to listen now, those voices will get louder. And louder. And start becoming very insistent. In very disruptive ways. Like illness, injury, catastrophe. The universe has its ways…

So today, I’m encouraging you as well as reminding myself.

Listen.

• Get up from your desk and take your cup of tea outside for the time it takes to drink. Be quiet and still. Listen.
• Turn off the radio when you’re in the car alone and drive in silence. Listen.
• Find some time for solitude. Don’t fill it with a book or newspaper or surfing. Be present with yourself. Listen.
• Run a bath, lock the door and soak. Tune in to your body. Listen.
• Take up yoga or tai chi or some other mindful physical practice. Listen.
• Take your pen and notebook somewhere quiet and write “Dear Voice, what is it I need to hear?” The voice will answer back. Listen.

And remember, “the capacity to love others depends on the capacity of loving ourselves.” We can only love ourselves when we know ourselves. We can only love ourselves when we’re being fully honest and open and listening.

Loving yourself is the supreme act of generosity.

Are you up to it?

Photo Credit: Lacey by aussiegall

How luscious – a new year stretching out before us, a clean slate, a brand new note book waiting for us to make our mark upon it!

We have the option, of course, to make a clean start any time we chose. But when the universe lends a hand and gives us the gift of a brand new, shiny, still-in-it’s-wrapping, year – juicy, ripe, plump and just for us, well – it’s the perfect opportunity to make that clean start.

Like that brand new, blank journal, waiting for us to add colour and meaning, the new year is stretched out there ahead of us, waiting for us to add colour and meaning and beauty and life.

The possibilities are endless…

What will you put into the book of your year?

I’ve always had trouble making the first mark on a beautiful, blank book. My oldest and dearest friend sent me a book last January for my birthday. It’s beautiful. Hard-bound, perfect size, with dark blue binding and a collage of words painted with metallic gold on the cover. Inside the covers is the most exquisite marbled endpaper, the paper inside just the right thickness and a beautiful creamy white. She made it herself!

It is so beautiful it has sat in pride of place on top of my bookshelf all year. And I haven’t written a thing in it. The perfectionist in me wouldn’t let me ’spoil’ this book with something that wasn’t worthy. And I couldn’t decide what was worthy enough.

Sometimes we have that trouble with our life, too. We don’t want to eliminate possibilities by choosing something. So we leave it blank… waiting for the day that inspiration strikes and we know what we are meant to do.

We come to a fork in the road, and instead of choosing a path and stepping out boldly, we hold back, scared of making the wrong decision.

Sometimes there are so many possibilities. So many avenues to chose. So many paths we could take. So, so much!

And we sit and enjoy the spectacle of all that possibility.

Instead of deciding and enjoying the doing of it.

So today I’d like you to join me for a little decision making. It’s time to choose what we put on the pages of our year.

Intention: Without intention, the winds of change and strife can toss us around and blow us completely off course. What do you intend to do with this year?

Decision: Decisions must be made. Decide, now, to be decisive when it counts. Not deciding is making a decision, you know. Don’t put off life indefinitely. Make a conscious choice today to begin.

Beauty: Beauty makes our hearts sing, and lifts us to a higher place. Fill your life with beauty and elegance and you’ll feel radiant!

Colour: I’m getting out my watercolour pencils and adding colour and life to my book. There is something so wonderful about just the right shade of cerise or magenta or cerulean…

Heart: When in doubt, check in with your heart. For always, deep down, you know what’s right, what’s truth. Your heart knows. Listen.

Energy: Good food and movement give us the energy to get stuck into our year with enthusiasm.

Passion: Passion for life makes everything brighter. Know your passion. Live it.

Order: Don’t take junk with you into your wonderful year. Deal with the ’stuff’, get help if you need it. Create order and feel an incredible lightness of spirit!

Belief: Believe in yourself. Anything is possible if you simply believe. It isn’t enough that others believe in you – you must know it.

Presence: Stay anchored in the present moment. Don’t live in yesterday’s and tomorrow’s. Your power is right here, right now.

Nature: Ground yourself in the natural world. Open up to feel of the breeze, the touch of the sun, the smell of damp earth, the thunder of the surf, the beauty of the mountains, the wonder of a spider-web… and know you’re alive!

Action: Take action. It does not need to be perfect. It does not need to be clever. Start living, start filling in pages… Action builds momentum and momentum will carry you forward to your dreams.

Space: Leave some pages deliberately blank. We need space and solitude in order to breathe. And those empty spaces invite even further possibilities…

Love: And above all, love. Our family, our friends, our special love, these are what makes the rest worthwhile.

To see a World in a Grain of Sand

And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,

Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand

And Eternity in an hour.

~William Blake from Auguries of Innocence

What are you planning on filling the book of your year with?

Ritual is the way you carry out the presence of the sacred. Ritual is the spark that must not go out.

~Christina Baldwin

Make magic out of the mundane! Introduce the sacred to your day, every day.

Lift your life to a higher level by turning the ordinary, everyday acts you normally do by rote into something special, something out of the ordinary.

We’d all like a little more magic in our life. And we imagine that we need some outside force, some ’someday’ thing, to suddenly spirit us away from the chores and transform our lives. But in the back of our minds we know that the handsome prince, or the lotto win, or the slim figure is never actually going to magically happen. And even if it did, there would still be moments of mundaneness…

Is it any wonder so many of us succumb to depression and anxiety? There is no magic in our lives, and we can see no hope of there ever being any!

Stop right there.

There is magic. There is hope. There is a sublime sense of the beautiful. And I’m here to hand you the key to the door that will open up to a whole new world.

Ready?

To feel the magic, to feel the sense of wonder and hope and joy that lights up your heart and puts a spring in your step, we need to add a little ritual and a little ceremony to those things you do every single day. It won’t take but a moment or two more, but the benefits will be immeasurable!

1. When you shower, pay attention

Feel the water on your skin, in your hair. Make the shower a sensory experience by using products to cleanse yourself that smell beautiful and uplifting. Try pure, organic aromatherapy products if at all possible. Chose oils that uplift, relax, rejuvenate or invigorate.

When your mind starts to drift off towards that insidious to-do list, gently bring it back to the feel of water, the feel of the loofah, the scents and steam. Have a soft, fluffy towel to swaddle yourself in when you’re done.

Make bathing a ritual and start your day on a high note.

2. Look your best, every day

There is no excuse to run out the door in old sweats – unless you’re literally going for a run.

Even though I work at home, and have to walk a dozen paces or so from my bed to my desk, I always feel better, write better, respond better and handle issues better when I’m feeling good about myself.

To feel good about myself, I get dressed in nice clothes (I no longer own baggy sweats or misshapen t-shirts), moisturise my skin, put on a little lip balm and a swipe of mascara, and a spritzing of my favourite perfume, every single day no matter what. When you feel good about the way you look, you cope better and feel stronger and more able to cope with whatever the day brings. Make it a ritual.

This is my “depressed stance.” When you’re depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you’ll start to feel better. If you’re going to get any joy out of being depressed, you’ve got to stand like this.

~Charlie Brown

3. Do the chores with love

Chores. You know they have to get done. And more often than not, you’re the one doing them. (No matter how much we dream the kids will suddenly develop an affinity with the vacuum or the washing machine… sigh).

You can do them grudgingly, and you’ll feel terrible (and so will everyone else in the house). Or you can do them with love.

Make a ceremony out of it.

I may be odd, but I’ve always loved hanging washing on the line. Sorting, pegging, checking. I enjoy being outside and feeling the sun and the breeze. My line is surrounded by big trees, and there are often a multitude of birds waiting for me. The flash of red from a king parrot. The harsh swark from a rainbow lorikeet. The gorgeous greeting song from a butcher bird. The call of a pheasant to his mate, somewhere down the back.

I let my time at the line renew me, and when I come back inside, I’m invigorated and ready for what I need to do next. Whether you’re washing floors or making beds, add a dash of ceremony, a touch of ritual, a splash of music and get it done with zing.

4. Cook with a smile on your face.

When I bake, I like to start with a clean kitchen and a lit candle. There is something about baking with love that infuses the food with an indefinable but tangible quality. When you prepare any food, for yourself, for your family, or for a houseful of guests, take a leaf from Nigella Lawson’s book and relish the absolute lusciousness of the tastes, textures and colours.

In his book Waiting for Autumn, Scott Blum’s character goes into a restaurant and orders a sandwich during a spiritual adventure where he can sense the energy of others. There was “a huge dark cloud coming from the back kitchen that slowly began to fill the entire restaurant. … When my food finally arrived, I was surprised to discover that there was also energy emanating from the sandwich on the plate. It was nearly identical to the dark cloud I felt coming from the back kitchen, and I became quote agitated when I picked the sandwich up. … when I bit into it, I almost choked. I felt as if I’d consumed someone else’s anger with that first bite, and it was toxic to me.“

Don’t be like the chef in this story. Don’t cook when you’re mad or frustrated. Do what you need to do to make cooking pleasurable. Infuse food with love as you prepare it. Food cooked with love satisfies hunger like no other food can.

5. Make a ceremony of the water you drink.

Masaru Emoto’s groundbreaking work into water crystals shows that water picks up on the vibrations around it. Take up your water glass and, holding it in both hands, breathe deeply and radiate love, happiness or joy into the water through your hands. This need only take a second or two.

As you sip the water, be mindful that you’re filling yourself with that feeling. The water in your stomach is radiating love, happiness, joy or whatever emotion you’re most in need of, throughout your body. Nourishing you, feeding you, uplifting you.

There are many more ways you can bring rituals into every day. Once you start to look for ways to add ceremony and the hint of special to chores and routines, you’ll find new and exciting ways to add that touch of magic, every single day of the year.

You’re so worth it!

It is only when we silence the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts.

~K. T. Jong

If your life is anything like mine, you’re stuck in the busyness that comes with a full life. Your diary is chock a block with commitments, kids activities, and earning a living. You do take a moment to breathe most days – you sometimes even take time out to do something just for you. It may be the weekly yoga class, the daily walk with the dogs, the regular pedicure, or a monthly coffee with your girlfriends.

But come this time of year, with all those additional things – like end of school year and Christmas – on to your to-do list and that rather large list of expectations, things get really frantic. There are only so many hours in a day – and it isn’t enough!

You sometimes long for it to be over and done with. And then feel guilty because you know that’s wishing your life away. You know that here and now are all you have, but boy, you wish here and now wasn’t quite so intense.

You feel like you’re flying headlong into the holidays… and the brakes have failed.

Plan for Renewal

As we rush towards the holidays, we lurch from commitment to commitment, task to task and don’t have the time to stand back and look at the bigger picture. We can lose perspective unless someone else pulls us up with a gentle (or not so gentle) reminder.

So I hope this will be your gentle, personal, reminder of the power of planning for renewal.

I found these definitions in my dictionary - Planning: ‘an intention or decision about what one is going to do’; and Renewal: ‘give fresh life or strength to’. Let’s put them together:

Planning for Renewal:

making an intention or decision about giving fresh life or strength to You

Fresh life? New strength? A burst of sustainable energy?

Sounds good right about now!

You may have to steal some time to get a start on this, but let me tell you – it will pay you back big time in energy, zing and enthusiasm.

Fresh Life and Strength

• Get quiet. Notice I didn’t say find quiet. Sometimes it’s impossible to find, or you’ll spend all your energy looking for it, and won’t enjoy it. So, no, Get quiet. If you’re outdoors and can sit and do nothing for 10 minutes, terrific! If not, sometimes you can even form a little bubble of quiet around you in a busy coffee shop. By quiet, I mean no conversation (except saying thank you when they bring your drink); no reading; no studying your shopping list; no sending messages from your phone. Just sit. Imagine that bubble around you, feel yourself quieten, inside as well as out. Sip your drink. Stare into space. Take a giant step back from your busyness for 10 minutes.
• Change your perspective. You’re so involved right now in every little thing that needs to get done that you’re definitely not seeing the big picture. Take a step or two backwards. Imagine yourself floating above the ground – high enough that you can see the whole forest, and not just that branch you were madly shaking. Start to question what you’re doing. Is it really so important that you make all the cards this year by hand? Is it vital that you go to that work Christmas party when you know you’ll hate it? Take a look at what you’re adding to your lists and ask why. Look at your obligations from a different perspective as you float by up there.
• Tune in to your body. Notice your stress levels. If they are higher than normal it’s time to take action. Notice where the stress is located in your body. Is your forehead all bunched up? Is your head aching? Is there a churning in the pit of your stomach? Or do you find you’re clenching your teeth tight, trying to hold it all in? Ask what is it you need to do right now to help your body cope better.
• Soothe yourself. Send yourself soothing thoughts. Treat yourself like a young child who has woken from a nightmare. Speak softly, calmly and with love. Stroke your forehead, rub your temples gently, massage your jaw. Relax yourself. Tell yourself it is okay.
• Tell a better story. When we get to this stage of the year, we’re often telling ourselves a story about how we just have to ‘get through’ this busy time so we can relax. I’m hanging out for January – but that’s a way off just yet and I don’t want to get there a total blubbering mess. So I’m changing my story about the next six weeks. I’m rewiring my thought patterns to enjoying the moment. I’m telling myself that everything that must get done, will get done; and that stuff that doesn’t get done doesn’t matter. As the definition of planning said “an intention or decision about what one is going to do“. Set your intention, make a decision – this moment is the first moment I am calm and clear.
• Get it out of your head. If you find yourself waking in the middle of the night in a cold sweat afraid you’ve forgotten something really important (like batteries for Christmas Day;) it’s time you started brain dumping. I’ve always advocated having a notebook that never leaves your side at this time of year. In it goes all to-do’s, shopping lists, gift ideas, menus, and lists of what you’ve bought for whom. There are three reasons to keep it with you – firstly, you’ll be able to jot down ideas as they arise (and hopefully get straight back to sleep); secondly, you’ll avoid all those little bits of paper floating around and getting lost; and lastly, if you’ve young kids – you don’t want them discovering that list of what they are getting from Santa!  When those infernal lists are out of your head and down on paper you’ll feel a whole lot calmer about everything.

Here’s to not just ‘getting through’ the next few weeks. I wish you peace and clarity and enjoyment of the moments in between now and then.

What’s your intention this holiday season?

Are you wondering why you would even want to think about beautiful things, you’ve got too much crammed in your head as it is?

A client of mine, Sharon, told me she has no time to watch the sunset in between paying bills and making sure her son attends school. And why would she watch the sunset anyway, there is always so much to be done?

Why, indeed.

Sunrise (c) Leah Maclean

Why add beauty to your life?

It’s something I’ve pondered ever since I had that conversation with Sharon. Why, when our lives are so full, so busy, would we add something else – especially something that on the surface doesn’t seem to help us get things done, pay the bills, or keep the house clean?

Ahh, but beauty, noticed, makes each of those chores, tasks and concerns lighter, brighter and, somehow, easier.

When you stop, even for a single moment, to recognise and appreciate something for it’s loveliness you bring yourself back into the present moment.

Suddenly you’re not fretting about all those things you need to get done, or worrying about what happened yesterday. You’re right here, right now, noticing something beautiful and taking a deep, calming breath.

Noticing beauty can uplift, restore, nourish, rejuvenate, entice and even motivate us.

When we love our home, and have made it beautiful and special, it is a joy to keep it clean.

When the picture above our desk, or the wallpaper background on our computer makes us smile, work and bill paying seem somehow less stressful.

When life is chaotic, and we’re barely keeping our head above water, taking a moment to appreciate the glory of a sunrise, the wind in our hair, the touch of a child as he cuddles up next to you, the smell of gardenias wafting in through an open window, the sound of your daughter practicing the piano or the taste of the first mango of the season, can bring a smile to our face and a deep, shuddering breath to our lungs.

Like the newly pregnant woman suddenly noticing bellies and prams everywhere she goes (and surely there weren’t so many, yesterday?), when you focus on beauty and what it can bring to your life, you will see it everywhere!

A Challenge For You

I’m challenging you, as I challenged Sharon, to look for beauty. Like Amy, you may drive your family crazy, but you’re sure to find beauty in unexpected places. As Annie challenges us – notice and appreciate the glory of this world. Give thanks for the beauty you notice. Look, feel, taste, hear and smell the glory that surrounds you. Even in the darkest moments and the darkest places, beauty lies in wait to be seen. You don’t need to go out of your way, or change your routine, to start noticing. Just be aware.

Will you be the one to find it?

Will you be the one to feel your heart expanding as each of your senses discovers new wonders?

You are a miracle!

No. Wait. Before you laugh and click away – hear me out, please?

You are a totally unique human being. There isn’t another the same as you, anywhere. You may have traits and features in common with your parents, or be so like your sister. But having your Mother’s eyes and your Father’s temper doesn’t make you the same person as either of them. Of course not!

No-one else has your exact DNA. Or your exact fingerprints. No-one thinks or loves like you, either.

In fact, the only thing we all have in common – the only thing every human being shares – is that we are all totally unique.

Kinda blows you away, when you really notice that, doesn’t it?

So why do we spend so much time trying to fit in and be just the same as everyone else?

Why do we hide our talents, our brilliance, our uniqueness away, as though we’re ashamed of who we are?

You’ve been trying to fit in with family, with friends, with peers and co-workers, even with the neighbours, for so long now – do you remember who you are?

You are not only unique, you are so very special – in fact, you’re magnificent!

Be yourself. The world worships an original

~Ingrid Bergman~

But somewhere along the way, you’ve put away parts of yourself. There are things you’ve buried, because you stood out too much, or someone laughed at you, once, long ago.

There are talents you’ve put aside as you struggled under the yolk of making a living, raising a family, being an adult.

There are yearnings you’ve put into the ‘maybe one day’ basket. You know the basket of someday dreams you’ll get to – once the kids are grown, once you have enough money, once you lose weight or your health improves… once you just get through this patch.

And along with those things you’ve put aside, you’ve put aside your soul.

You’re hiding behind the curtain afraid of the bright lights on the other side.

What so many of us don’t realise until too late is that the bright lights out there on stage are our reflection. Our life is the light. Those who’ve had the courage to step out from behind the curtain have found a joyous life – a life that shines with happiness and love. Why don’t we join them?

Here – take my hand…

Let Your Light Shine

Dust off that someday – one day basket. Unearth your yearnings. Rediscover your talents. Today is ’someday’ and you are special!

If you’ve read this far, you’re ready. You know exactly why you’re reading this today. If you sit and be still, you can hear those buried dreams whispering to you. You know what I am talking about, even if you’ve not yet accepted it. Deep within your heart you know the light that is there, waiting to be unshackled and let free.

Listen to the whispers. Hear them. Bring them forth.

The world is waiting to see your light – that special radiance that can only come from you. And if you’re living a life true to who you are – then that radiance will shine, giving you a unique and unmistakeable glow.

Shine your light and you inspire others to shine their light.

What is it you’ve been hiding, playing small, denying?

It’s your life – if you don’t live it no-one will!

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say “I used everything you gave me”

~Erma Bombeck~

At the end of your life, will you be able to say, with confidence, “I used all you gave me” ??

If not now, when?

Our society is founded on a very limited definition of power, namely wealth, professional success, fame, physical strength, military might, and political control. My dear friends, I suggest that there is another kind of power, a greater power: the power to be happy right in the present moment, free from addiction, fear, despair, discrimination, anger and ignorance. This power is the birthright of every human being, whether celebrated or unknown, rich or poor, strong or weak.

~Thich Nhat Hanh – from The Art of Power~

Did you read that quote? Go back and read it again.

Well?

Powerful, isn’t it? The power to be happy right in the present moment is our birthright!

Are you happy, right now, this very second?

I have to admit when I read these words, I pulled myself up sharply. I’d been fretting, worrying, feeling a little anxious with that tight feeling in the chest that you get when you start anticipating something that may or may not happen sometime soon.

You know the feeling? Yep. That one.

We’re all a little prone to worrying, and sometimes even catastrophising, about the future. I’m certainly not immune. Especially in the middle of the night.

But Thich Nhat Hanh, in his book The Art of Power, tells us that worrying never solved anything. It takes away our power – because our power resides right here, in this very moment.

In a recent list of things I’d learned in the last month, a stream-of-consciousness thing, I wrote

“Living in the now means I am strong. I can get through almost anything if all I have to do is live this. very. moment.”

Karen Swim responded:

“I never thought about it in that way but you’re right it takes courage and strength to be fully present in this moment, not looking behind or jumping ahead.”

(Don’t you just love how these things happen, serendipitously?)

You see, Karen saw something different in my point to what I’d actually meant. And in that moment I knew what I’d write about here this month, on power and strength.

You see, I think we’re both right. We were simply looking at the same coin from two different sides.

On my side – heads – I see that I can only stay strong, and be powerfully present and powerfully me if I stay in the moment. Living here. now. means I can be strong no matter what the Winds of Change or the Gods of Chaos are throwing at me.

Remind me to tell you a little more about those Gods of Chaos later by the way.

On Karen’s side – tails – she saw that it took a certain strength just to be in the present moment. That the very act of living in the now required courage to not go looking behind or jumping ahead.

Now can you see why the lightbulb went on for me?

One Half of Happy by Justin Lowery on flickr

Life = Change

Life is always throwing things at us, challenging us, rocking our boat or sinking it completely and without warning.

And since change is the only constant, and ofttimes is accompanied by its lifetime companions – pain and fear – we need a plan to stay whole and sane despite change. Because of change.

And that can only come in the present moment.

A month ago, as I was publishing the July issue of Calm Space, the Gods of Chaos arrived. Again. I’ve learned they are never really far away in a life lived well. If I hid in my wardrobe all day, and never interacted with anyone, they’d still come a-calling.

They buffetted me with strong winds, threw a couple of well-aimed lightning bolts my way, and generally caused the chaos and mayhem they’re renowned for.

And I discovered something about myself all over again.

I can survive.

Right here, and right now, I’m OK. The rest is out of my control.

Use your power – be happy Now

It’s not easy, and it can take large amounts of strength and courage, but being happy right now is possible.

In fact, this is the only time you have to be happy.

Here’s some things that help me be happy right now, most of the time:

• Breathe - when things get real tough, you’ll notice you’re having trouble breathing. Your chest gets tight, and your throat seems to close up. As soon as you notice, focus on your breathing. Breathe deeply. Evenly. Count if it helps.
• Move – take a walk, dance, jump up and down – moving your body helps you get out of your head, the place where a lot of worry and heartache begins
• Write it Out – get the stuff out of your head. Whether it’s lists of all the things you need to get done or simply writing out how you feel, writing it down helps clear your mind
• Reach Out – don’t try to do it alone. There are people out there just waiting for you to honour them by asking for help
• Nurture – take the best care you’ve ever taken of yourself. Drink plenty of water. Eat nourishing, wholesome foods. Rest. Pamper. Do what you need to do.
• Knit – I find knitting a moving meditation. It stills my thoughts and allows my body to relax. Find your activity of happiness.
• Beautify – fill your days with beauty. Make your home a haven you love to be in. Nourish your senses with beautiful views, wonderful scents, glorious music, tactile fabrics and delicious food.
• Give Thanks – be grateful for all the good that is in your life in this moment. You’re richer than you know.

Go out. Grab your birthright and be happy. Right Now.

What is stopping you?

Love in a Mist by lepiaf.geo on Flickr

Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices.

Do the hardest thing on earth for you.

Act for yourself.

Face the truth.

~ Katherine Mansfield ~

We all have so many roles in our busy life. We’re daughter first. And often sister. Then comes girlfriend, partner or wife. And mother. And then there are all the other occupational roles. And always, I hope, friend.

As life ebbs and flows, so will the roles we play. At times, our personal relationships will take centre stage, consuming most of our energy and time. At others, our occupation, our calling or some external role will become dominant.

There is one role we don like a mantle of office… as women we seem hardwired to be care-givers. We take care of people. We take care of things. Often at the expense of ourselves.

Over the past decade or so, I, and so many of my friends, have been learning to take care of ourselves first. It’s not easy. We have relapses – sometimes for months at a time. We’ve learned, quite often the hard way, that to ignore our own needs is perilous. We cannot run on empty like we used to when we were twenty.

Physically, spiritually and emotionally we need to keep topping up the tank so it never gets anywhere near empty.

And that is so much harder than it sounds when you’re a wife, mother, daughter, sister, home owner, friend, chauffeur, nurse, chef, washer-woman, bread winner…

What I’ve found is it all starts with permission. Not from your husband. Not from your girlfriend (although she can give you a good shove!). Not from your kids (huh – like that’s ever going to happen!) And not even from your Mother – although she’s probably been there, done that, and could be your greatest cheerleader.

Who do you need permission from?

Why, you, of course.

Permission to breathe. Permission to shed the roles and be, simply and wholeheartedly, you.

Learn about you. Learn what you need to feel nourished. This is some of the most important learning you’ll ever do.

Cherish yourself.

I promise that everyone and everything you care about will benefit from it.

In the chaos that is our daily schedule, earmark time to get to know the most important person in your life.

You.

Your life is a magnificent gift. Rarer than the rarest diamond and more precious than all the gold in the world. When you treasure the gift you are, you find who you are, beyond those life roles. Beyond the carer-extraordinaire. Beyond the woman with the full diary, and never-ending to-do list.

Deep within is the you that has been waiting, patiently, for you to find her. Let her out, and listen closely. She is wise beyond compare, and always knows the truth about you.

Throw off the burdens of expectation, guilt and shame. It’s time to show the world your true brilliance.

Cherish yourself. Act for yourself. Face the truth.

Infinite riches are all around you if you will open your mental eyes and behold the treasure house of infinity within you. There is a gold mine within you from which you can extract everything you need to live life gloriously, joyously, and abundantly.

~Joseph Murphy~

Simply showing a little kindness to another can make a dull day brighter.

As we take our focus off our own woes, and turn our eyes outwards – we realise things aren’t so bad for us after all.

When we’re down in the dumps or barely have the energy to get out of bed, doing something for another – no matter how small – can raise our spirits and give our immune system a huge lift.

Unfurled by Amy Palko

Our world is going through some tough times, and some think they could be forgiven for wallowing in self-pity and despair. But in the words of that catchy song “when the going gets tough, the tough get going…” and kindness is the act of choice.

When you feel in need of a lift, make kindness your choice of coping mechanism. Going out and spreading seeds of kindness not only makes someone else’s day – the very act can give you that lift you crave, and more. When you’re having a blue day, give freely of yourself.

Listen more than you speak.

Dare to see the glass half-full.

Say only positive things, to yourself and everyone else, for a whole day.

Smile freely.

Say thank you. Send a card. Make a call. Get in touch, and let someone know you care.

Give flowers, hugs and chocolate in abundance.

There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world.

~Robert Louis Stevenson

Random Acts of Kindness

You’ve heard that famous line by Anne Herbert “Perform random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty” – I’ve even seen it on bumper stickers. Every time I hear or read it, it gives me pause. How many random or senseless acts have I performed today, this week, this month…? How often have I turned my gaze outward and noticed another enough to be kind to them?

And I know the answer is – not enough. No matter how many times I give, share or listen to another, it’s never ever enough.

But it is always sufficient. For every act begets another, every thought or smile lightens a load imperceptibly and my load is lightened in return.

When I found that gorgeous photo above, I knew it was right. For the very act of showing a kindness – no matter how small or seemingly insignificant – unfurls a brightness not only in the recipient, but also in the life of the giver, and all the lives these two lives touch forevermore.

Isn’t that magical?

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

~Leo Buscaglia

Pay It Forward

In 1999, Catherine Ryan Hyde wrote Pay It Forward a story about a 12 year old boy and his school assignment to ‘Think of an idea for world change, and put it into action’. His idea?

Do a good deed for three people, and in exchange, ask each of them to “pay it forward” to three more. “So nine people get helped. Then those people have to do twenty-seven…. Then it sort of spreads out.”

If you haven’t read the book – do. It is still available today, 10 years after it was written! You’ll be inspired to go out and perform your own good deeds, and asking to ‘pay it forward’ in exchange. If you have read it, why not leave us a comment below and let me know how it affected you.

By the way – it’s very different to the movie it inspired. By all means see the movie, but do read the book.

Kindness starts right here

In order to give of yourself – your time, your energy, your gifts – you need first to fill up your own tank. Be kind to yourself – read Angela’s words of wisdom at Organising Space this month.

Kindness should also start at home. Once you’ve ensured you’re well cared for, that person you share your life with deserves to be the focus of your kind acts – be sure to take in Chris’ wise words at Relationship Space.

At Spiritual Space, Annie too shares the wisdom of being Kind not Right. A very powerful concept!

No better time

In life you can never be too kind or too fair; everyone you meet is carrying a heavy load. When you go through your day expressing kindness and courtesy to all you meet, you leave behind a feeling of warmth and good cheer, and you help alleviate the burdens everyone is struggling with.

~Brian Tracy

Sharing, caring, listening, giving. It’s the simple things that often mean the most.

There is no time like right now, today, to spread the seeds of kindness and watch them unfurl around the globe.