How Do You Use Your Space?

January 23, 2013 by  
Filed under current, Energy Space

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How comfortable are you with space? Do you claim your space? Do you feel the need to fill empty space?

There are many different types of space and the way you use space can be very revealing – whether it’s your physical space (your home and work place), your intimate space (your boundaries),  verbal space (communication and listening), or your life space (career and social activities).

Many people feel uncomfortable with space. Whenever they encounter it they feel the need to fill it. This is often a method of avoidance.

Here are some examples of filling space:

Physical space

You’ve probably seen programs about people who hoard things. This is an extreme example of filling your physical space. When you look at the condition of hoarding it’s easy to see that there is a deeper problem going on. There is a deep insecurity and the person is trying to address is by surrounding themselves with stuff – so much so that there is very little room for them to live in their space. Hoarders suffer from deep-seated anxieties.

Hoarding is at the extreme end of the scale. Many people fill their home and work spaces until they become cluttered. This is not as extreme as hoarding, yet it’s still a sign of a deeper issue. They may frequently try to get organized and de-clutter and yet the clutter comes back time and time again. That’s because the clutter itself is not the issue. It’s a symptom and the problem relates to a feeling of being disconnected from their true selves and a sense of dissatisfaction with their life situations. The problem will continue until the person looks within to address the real issues.

Intimate space

When you have trouble setting boundaries and find that people are not treating you the way you would wish to be treated it’s a sign of how you feel about yourself. People tend to treat you the  way you treat yourself – the way you feel you deserve. If you have an issue with boundaries it’s time to examine unhealthy beliefs to see if they apply to you, such as ‘I’m not good enough;’ ‘I’m not lovable;’ ‘I’m not worthy,’ and so on.

Verbal space

This is the person who can’t stand quiet. The verbal space always has to be filled and they might fill it by constantly talking, talking loudly, or having to have some kind of noise going on all the time, such as the radio or television. This can relate to a fear of hearing their thoughts and of connecting to themselves. When there is quiet, then you can hear your thoughts – and that’s very scary for many people, so they will avoid it at all costs. Even when someone else is talking, they may not be listening, they may constantly interrupt or not be paying attention to what the person is saying because they’re too busy thinking up their own response.

Life space

Workaholics and people who fill their lives with one social activity after another fit into this category. There is a fear of not being busy. Keeping busy may be how you identify with your sense of value (I’m busy therefore I’m important and I’m needed). Or if your busyness relates more to social activities it may be a way of showing how popular you are, when deep down you really don’t feel that you’re lovable. Keeping busy in this way can also be a way of avoiding spending time addressing the real issues, which are how you feel about yourself and your life. When you fill your life with these activities you don’t have time to stop and reflect on whether they are what you want to be doing and whether they are truly in alignment with who you are. In fact they’re probably not in alignment, which is why you feel you must not stop because if they’re not, then what do you do?

This is simply food for thought. When you examine how you interpret and use space (all kinds of space) you can find out a lot about yourself. It can be a great personal growth tool. Then of course the question is, do you want to change it?

 

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About Our Energy Space Contributor

Linda23_smallLinda Binns is known as The Energetic Edge Expert. She is a success coach and mentor, helping professional women and women business owners achieve work-life balance and freedom by identifying and releasing whatever is holding them back.

She accomplishes this through comprehensive ‘change your energy’ courses, events and community. For a free report on 3 Simple Things That Will Take You from Stuck to Unstoppable, go to LindaBinns.com.

Comments

3 Responses to “How Do You Use Your Space?”
  1. Carolyn Leslie says:

    Linda, I found your insights to be really useful! I have one question: I live with someone who likes to fill up all his verbal space. I, on the other hand, like a fair degree of quiet. Do you have any tips for how we can find a happy medium?

  2. Linda Binns says:

    Hi Carolyn, thanks for the question. This is where it’s important to make sure that you get as much quiet as you need. You must schedule quiet time for yourself and make sure that the person you live with honors your need for quiet time.

    When you give yourself what you need, you can then be much more present with others and in other situations.

    It would also be a good idea to make sure that he fulfills his need to communicate in other ways as well, so he’s not just relying on you to be the person he interacts with. Perhaps something (either professionally or personally) where he has to present, teach or facilitate and where he could be around other people who would benefit from what he has to share.

    You both need to make sure that you get what you need, otherwise you’ll both be frustrated with and resentful of each other sometimes.

    Hope that helps.

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