The Pursuit of Happiness
July 1, 2010 by Carla Cummins Thomas
Filed under A-ha! Space, Guest Space
We warmly welcome back Carla Cummins Thomas (aka Chania Girl) as our guest this week. More about Carla below.
A few weeks ago, I made the decision to give up on happiness, which is pretty remarkable since my blog is called Living Happiness and there’s a whole Facebook page to that effect, too.
Happiness did not do anything to me. We did not have a falling out. I simply felt I could do better things with my time than keep chasing him around. It’s all in Happiness’s nature: He’s a flighty, flirty, coy thing who likes, alternately, to be both chased and the center of attention. The down side to this is that he also doesn’t like to sit still for long … or remain too much in any one place either.
It’s difficult to corner Happiness and have a conversation. And grabbing him for a big hug is out of the question – he’ll just slither out of your hands like a slippery fish and dart off to some other school that currently holds his interest. He’s not a bad sort, you know; you just can’t pin him down. And it’s taken me almost thirty-five years to realize, “Why would I want to?”
It’s all these qualities and many more that make Happiness so delectable, such delicious company. And it’s for these reasons that he will still be number one on all the party lists and the next day’s topic of hot conversation. And since he thrives on this, it’s all to the good. And more power to him.
But as for me, I just can’t chase him anymore. Actually, that’s not true. I can but I won’t. There will be no more “pursuit of Happiness” on my end. My legs are tired. I’m tired. And I need a rest. So I’ve got a different idea altogether – let him come to me.
What? What’s that you say? How do you intend to do that?
Quite easily really: by ignoring him.
You see, of all the things I’ve learned in my years of chasing Happiness around from party to party is that he’s delightfully jealous. Show him too much attention and he’s bored to tears, concocting an ingenious plan of escape even as you try to think up your wittiest witticisms to keep him interested. But ignore him completely and he’s practically swinging from the chandeliers to get your attention.
This is no more true than when you engage in the act of conversing (deeply) with one of his friends. Common cronies are Abundance, Peace, Contentment, Simplicity, Joy, Purpose, Patience, Wisdom, Stillness, just to name a few. The minute you find yourself in deep conversation with any one of these lovelies, Happiness will assuredly be at your arm, persistently tugging at your sleeve, desperate to put in his two-cents’ worth. Happiness, dear sweet Happiness cannot bear the thought of being excluded.
So here’s my plan. I am going to keep hanging out with Abundance, Peace, Contentment, Simplicity, Joy, Purpose, Patience, and the crew because they engage me, fulfill me, nurture me, and entertain me … and because I know where they are, Happiness will be too. Only this time, I’m through with the chasing. Happiness can chase me around for a change.
What do you think? Will you be pursued too?
Photo Source: Playing Tag by Andrew Laparra
ABOUT OUR GUEST AUTHOR
Carla Cummins Thomas is “Chania Girl” at her own little blogling, Living Happiness, a personal blog about her daily life.
An EFL teacher and an online grammar and writing instructor for the University of Maryland’s University College program, Carla left her corporate job in the States five years ago to pursue her dreams, believing that most regrets in life are risks not taken.
When she is not blogging (or explaining the difference between its and it’s), Carla lives on a Cretan hillside with her Greek-Australian gorilla of a husband, several wandering cats, and crazy lovely neighbours who are slowly but surely teaching her Greek. She is also preparing for her next big adventure in October 2010: a move to Oz.
You can follow Carla and Living Happiness on Facebook and on Twitter.
Wonderful post, Chania Girl! I love it and it’s great to see you here again!
I think it’s a wonderful strategy that will bring you quick success. Happiness most often is still when we are.
Thank you, Dani! So glad you enjoyed the post.
Hi Carla!
It’s me…HAPPINESS!!! I found you! See…there you were being all content and peaceful….and I just had to jump in and let you know…
I’M HERE!!
And…you will keep pulling me in by being all of this – peaceful, content, joy-filled, loving. embracing, caring…gosh…all that stuff you do so well!!
I guess you’re kinda stuck with me…because I’m keeping up with you (you’re onto something)!!
Now…that Lance guy…I’m not so sure what he’s up to!! Maybe I should check him out too…
Signed,
HAPPINESS
Carla — What a delightful and clever post! I loved how created a persona for Happiness and I agree that it’s a good idea not to chase. I also enjoyed what you said about visiting the “cronies” of happiness…so true, that spending time with them often bring happiness running to you.
This post brought a smile to my face…thank you:~)
Carla, this *was* clever!
And, playful. Fun written all over it. Like you are teasing happiness and you know what it wants. It need us more than we need it. I LOVED this!
@Wendi: Thank you so much, Wendi. I’m glad that you enjoyed the post. :)
@Lance: Lance, I loved your letter from Happiness to me! And I’m pretty darn sure Happiness is chasing you around all the time too … and catching you. You’re a dear friend and a source of great joy in my life. Thank you for visiting me here today.
@Sara: Thank you for coming over today, Sara. So many of your posts bring a smile to my face; it’s a pleasure to bring a smile to yours.
@Davina: Thank you, Davina! It was a fun post to write … wrote it on one of our beach afternoons when I was all loose and mellow. Thank you for coming to visit over here today.
Oh no, CG, you really did it this time; ignored Happiness and now he’s smiling all over everyone’s faces. And it’s all your fault! (You should be soooo proud of yourself). :D
Fantastic post!
Hi Carla,
I love your strategy. Isn’t that how it works? When we chase those elusive dreams, we don’t stop long enough to enjoy that which we already have, and happiness can often be found sitting right next to us, waiting to be enjoyed.
BTW: I loved Lance’s comment. That Lance….. :)
I love hearing that you are “hanging out with Abundance, Peace, Contentment, Simplicity, Joy, Purpose, Patience, and the crew” and just letting happiness pursue you.
:)
GREAT, FUN & UPLIFTING post!
@Joanne: Thanks, Joanne! You’ve put a smile all over MY face! :)
@Barbara: Lance is a mess, isn’t he? That’s why I call him “Crazy Loon.” It just fits! :) Thank you for visiting me over here at Karen’s lovely space. Doesn’t she have a beautiful place here?
@Aileen: Thank you, Aileen. It was fun and easy to write. Maybe because I wrote it at the beach when I wasn’t chasing ANYTHING (except maybe a suntan). Hope all is well with you.
I just love your writing style and how creative you are. Happiness finds me in present moment living every day. Happiness and I play hide and go seek when I’m in the past or future.
Hi Carla,
I think you’re brilliant! How true. We cannot chase happiness – it’s a result of engaging fully in our lives.
What a wonderful way you have with words too. I enjoyed the playfulness of this piece.
Thanks so much!
Hi Carla,
Your post reminds me of the “He’s Just Not That Into You” franchise. In a fun way…if happiness doesn’t call two days in a row..he’s just not that into you..LOL:)
I allow for unfolding in my life..my premise is if I allow my heart to be open then Love and Gratitude quickly swoop in, fill it up, and invite all of the other Fruits of the Spirit to play… It’s my job to be ready..the rest just happens. Each and every day…
That’s true. The more we chase happiness, the more elusive it seems to be. I think that what we can do is to try to live a meaningful life, sharing fully to others what we could, and then let happiness get jealous enough and come our way! ;-)
Chania Girl said it quite well. Why chase something that won’t chase you?
@Tess: Hi, Tess. It’s a treat for me to see you here today. Thank you for dropping by and for leaving your kind words. Your game of hide-and-seek with Happiness captures the essence of the post exactly. Hope you have a wonderful, play-filled, joy-filled weekend.
@Angela: Dearest Angela, thank you for your kindness regarding my writing: your words are a joy to hear (read?) and will be treasured. I’m glad you enjoyed the playfulness of the article: who says happiness has to be a serious pursuit? ;)
@Joy: I love the “He’s Just Not That Into You” analogy! Fantastic! And, yes, it did make me laugh out loud! You are a walking billboard for joy, Joy. xx
@Joyce: Hi, Joyce. It’s great to see here I face that is new to me. Thank you for reading and leaving your comment. It’s true: sharing with others and leading a meaningful life, these are like magnets for happiness — he just can’t stay away.
@Desk49: Hi, Ellis! So great you came to visit me over here! I’m glad you enjoyed the post.
Great post. This part is my fave:
“I am going to keep hanging out with Abundance, Peace, Contentment, Simplicity, Joy, Purpose, Patience, and the crew because they engage me, fulfill me, nurture me, and entertain me … and because I know where they are, Happiness will be too.”
That, my dear, is downright brilliant!! It gives me tingles to read it. Tingles are good. :)
@Clearly Composed: Wow! Now I’m all tingly! That’s pretty amazing stuff, CC. I’m floored! And so happy you enjoyed the post. :) Thank you for one of the most beautiful compliments. x
You have made a wise decision to discontinue your chase of happiness. The key is to attract that which we desire and the real learning is that happiness cannot be chased or attracted for it is always within us, we simply need to remember how to access our happiness.
Hi Carla,
What a very clever piece of writing! So engaging!
You’ve opened our minds. Thank you xx
@Stephanie: Thank you, Stephanie.
I just love this!! I mean – it was awesome!
I went to Europe at the end of June and went with no expectations at all – none – no “this will bring me happiness” “No I must do this to be happy” etc… I went and went open to everything and anything… and… there was happiness . Happiness spent the trip with me more than not.
I simply loved this post – Thanks!
@The Exception: I am sure you had a MARVELOUS time, TE. Can’t wait to hear/read of some of your adventures. Thank you for visiting me over here today. Isn’t Karen’s place lovely? So glad you enjoyed the post. :)
Carla-
How did I miss this one until today? It makes me….happy!! Kudos, dear one! Bookmarking it RIGHT NOW!!
@Ruthie: No worries, Ruthie. I think everyone’s running around lately and, hey, this little piece wasn’t going anywhere! :) Thank you for dropping over here to Karen’s lovely place. I’m glad you enjoyed the post. x