Why Conversations Can be Hard Work!

Are you one of those people …

… who waft into a party, wave to various people you know, get a drink and start chatting?

By the end of the night, are you feeling cheery, connected and glad you came? (Even when you swore you’d rather not go out?)

Well then, you’re probably like me – an extravert.  Typically we like to interact with other people and get our energy from the time spent in the company of others.  We find that being alone for too long can drain our energy.  (Basically we’re not good candidates for solo life on a desert island!)

OR are you just the opposite …

… of all that social gad fly stuff?

Does the mention of  a social gathering make you pale and clammy?  Does attending an event send any energy you have gurgling down the plug hole with your shower water?  Does the thought of having to make conversation send your brain into a whirl?  Well, I think we can safely say that you may have a bit of introversion about you.  Typically introverts turn to their inner life to recharge their batteries.

So how can the two make conversation if extraverts are like endless babbling brooks and introverts keep their lips zipped until they’ve sorted it all out in their heads?  Alright maybe the stereotypes are a LITTLE exaggerated, but if you’re an introvert living with an extrovert, it can be tough!

At Casa Pink Apple …

… we have this dilemma.

In fact, we are direct opposites on all the typology scales.  And no, we didn’t know that when we married all those years ago!

Poor SweetP (love of Pink Apple’s life) was dazzled by the “bubbly” Pink Apple when he met her.  How convenient! Here was someone who’d do all the talking for him when they went out!  Pink Apple was SO excited about this man who’d LISTEN to her and needed her to be his leader.

Ah how things were different with the passage of a few years!

When SweetP came home from work to three galloping sons and a fraught Mummy who just wanted to talk to an adult, he wondered what kind of deal he’d made with the devil!

Pink Apple by that stage had decided she’d married an emotional retard who couldn’t be bothered talking to her. (It’s alright he’s heard about this and understands much better now!)

If only we’d taken steps at THAT point to find out what was going on and learn some more.  (We waited until we’d been married 17 years and were sliding down a slippery slope before we realised we needed to know how to work at being married.)

So here are some facts and some hard-won Casa Pink Apple knowledge to help YOU!

Good Luck and take it quietly, a little understanding and respect goes a long way to rebuilding the connections and creating a calmer relationship space in your life.